Dani Shapiro

107.

I've begun to realize that maintaining a spiritual life is a bit like sticking to an exercise regime.   Use it or lose it, as they say.  The muscles atrophy quickly -- though they also retain their memory.  It is a paradox of my current life that as I am on the road promoting Devotion, it is hard to find the time -- the hour or two or three a day -- to maintain the practices I learned and developed during the years spent writing the book.  These are practices I fully intend to maintain for the rest of my life -- but how to reconcile a fast-pace, overfull life with the rigors of silence and contemplation? Most days, as I prepare for appearances, or travel, I don't have ninety minutes to do yoga, or a half hour to sit in silent meditation.  So what is to be done?

Some of the wisest people around me have suggested that everything is an opportunity to practice.  Everything.  When I am helping my son with his homework, that is a practice.  When I'm stocking up the kitchen cupboards because I'm going to be away for a week, that is a practice.  When I'm responding to the beautiful letters I receive every day about Devotion, that is a practice.  Recently I was walking down the street in New York City, and I was in a grumpy mood.  I began, quite unexpectedly to do a walking Metta meditation.  May you be safe, I silently said to the man in the suit walking towards me.  May you be happy, to the glamorous woman talking on her cell phone.  May you be strong, to the elderly woman.  May you live with ease, to the construction worker in the hard hat.  Suddenly, walking down the street was a practice.  And me?  I was no longer grumpy.

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  • Gail Siegel

    How lovely. I am moved, just reading this. And I love the way it lifts all the people you see on the street, briefly, out of their anonymity. xxxGail

  • AL

    Hi Dani, you are using "tools of distraction" to either hide or cover something missing, that bothers you every once in a while. you are in a constant search of (.?.) until you find it and figure out how to connect with it; these band-aids will only work temporarily. you are a good soul, but shrouded by the life you have lived and still live. just look deep inside and from up above... good heavens.
    by the way I have no idea who you are. I just found out about you tonight.

  • heathergallantgagnon

    Trying to keep myself "in the moment" is a daily practice. I agree that yoga, meditation, helping a child with homework, driving, and grocery shopping can be considered "practice," too. I call that practicing yoga "off the mat." It is reassuring to read about your daily struggle, as well.

    Since reading "Devotion" and meeting you at Kripalu, I have begun to practice metta mediation. I've found it very "centering" when I'm in the midst of a chaotic situation or on my meditation cushion. As a yoga teacher, I sometimes feel like I should have a firm grasp of this "in the moment" living, but it is a definite practice and process for me. Perhaps we teach what we need to learn?!?

    Thank you for continuing to share your journey through this blog. I, too, was disappointed when the book ended, so I am glad to be able to continue reading about your experiences here.

    Thanks and namaste,
    Heather

  • http://www.ourbaobeibaby.blogspot.com/ Sarah Sullivan

    I just finished reading Devotion and wanted to thank you for writing it. I can not tell you how much I identified with your journey. Unlike you, I came from a family that offered smogasboard answers to religious questions, but at 43 I think I have ended up in a spiritual proximity near you. Each of our three children (ages 8 yrs to 20 months) has dealt with some serious malady. We spend the first two to three years of each one's life not knowing what the outcome will be. Most recently, our beloved youngest, whom we adopted from Taiwan last year, was diagnosed with microcephaly and a host of brain injuries following a seizure the day after her first birthday. She is doing well, but we are still unsure how "normal" her development will be. Having children who have not developed normally has been incredibly lonely at times and your story really comforted me in a deep place. So, from one mother who has tired of hearing phrases like "God only gives us what we can handle" to another, thank you so much! May you be safe, may you be happy, may you be strong, may you live with ease. God willing. Sincerely, Sarah S.

  • beneciaaronwald

    Dear Dani,
    We met last night at the JCC. I had tagged along with some of your Pingry friends. I met Allison in the stands, of one of the Pingry gymnasiums, as we watched our sons play basketball together. I too have been on a spiritual journey, as many of us choose to be. I just wanted to tell you again, how much I appreciate your blog. Whenever I go on to it, it always touches me in some way and therefore inspires me to continue on my own writing path/life path. I know that in your blog, you say that you are having a hard time reconciling your new awareness with your current lifestyle. Btw, I loved what you said in your book about doing your seeking at home-- that you didn’t want to, nor could you, due to family responsibilities, travel to foreign lands, etc. in search of meaning--that you needed to cultivate awareness in your own back yard, in order to be able to maintain it. Needless to say, life on the road, doing a book tour, is not conducive to balance in the mind or the body. So don’t be so hard on yourself that you are having trouble maintaining your peace of mind. (I am sure that just eating healthy, organic meals regularly can be a challenge.) Like you said in your blog, some wise person told you that you needed to find “it”, cultivate that peace of mind, in other ways. One way or another, you need to figure out how to adapt to your current circumstance while carving out a little place for yourself, as challenging as that may seem. I have a suggestion that may be obvious the outside observer, but it is probably not as clear to you, because of all the literal and figurative turbulence you are feeling from all of your traveling. But it seems clear to me, after reading your Devotion Blog, that you need to make working on your blog part of your daily practice. Like all of you were saying last night, the goal is not just peace of mind, in and of itself. It is having that peace of mind and then taking it to the next level. Having the ability to generously share what you have learned with others, b/c you no longer need to be focused on or preoccupied with yourself. Also, I think that the inevitable feeling of let down, after finishing Devotion, is partly b/c you are not living what you learned and not taking care of yourself. Therefore you are not able to be available to those around you or anyone you come in contact with for that matter. The living and the learning you gained while writing this book, the story, your story, is not over just b/c the book has been completed. If you make the time to take the time each day, to focus on your blog, which can be done anywhere, you will continue on your journey. Eventually, out of that blog, an idea will sprout for your next book. I think it will have something to do with what you are experiencing now. How to create balance in the real world. You and I are both privileged to have a quiet, nurturing space in the country, to think and work. Now you need figure out how to make it work in real time. That is your latest challenge. I, for one, would love to read about what you discover and so would many other people, who are also trying to find their way. As with Devotion, there is no one answer, no secret. It is a process of discovery, a journey each of us must make together and alone. I would love to hear about how you do it, what your journey is like, now that you have learned what you’ve learned. Tell us how you do it, on a day-to-day basis, in a very real, very practical way. Work on it and figure it out for yourself and then you can share it with the world. The challenge being, how to live in your newfound wisdom, while being a wife and a mother, along with so many other responsibilities, in this 24/7, non-stop. I hope that my words have helped inspire you the way yours have inspired me.
    Enjoy your day!
    Benecia Aronwald
    baronwald@yahoo.com

  • Sari Max-Fiss

    I've read this and 'moments of being' all the way through and this is the penultimate entry of the lot...your mindfulness in the present moment coupled with sending out that most powerful and generous prayer for ALL... Bravo, Dani!!

  • Sari Max-Fiss

    I've read this and 'moments of being' all the way through and this is the penultimate entry of the lot...your mindfulness in the present moment coupled with sending out that most powerful and generous prayer for ALL... Bravo, Dani!!